Falling Numbers

So, since I began my renewed effort in exercising and trying to get in better shape, I have dropped 9 pounds. I still have a long way to go, somewhere between 90 and 95 pounds more, but I am confident that as long as I give a consistent effort, I can accomplish this goal.

My legs are already starting to feel a lot better. I am even more comfortable playing basketball without a knee brace now. I am still cautious, as I don't want to end up on crutches anytime soon.

My appetite is curving some. Not only am I drinking more water, but I actually enjoy it now. I don't eat portions nearly as large as I used to... unless I am feeling unusually famished or starved.

Gotta keep plugging away.

Someone Call Security!

Bank vault makes money secure.

Okay, so, we have our images of what it may mean to be secure. A bank protects its money with armed guards, an armored truck and a huge vault constructed of concrete and steel. A near impenetrable fortress, there is only one way in and one way out.

What about us? What about humans? Wherein do our treasures lie? What is keeping us safe from those who are out to get us?

I have found that I am an emotional mess of a man; flawed; sinful; imperfect. While this discovery may not be a surprise to anyone who reads this blog entry, especially if you know me, it is not what I want to hear. I want to be strong. I want to be masculine. I want to be confident, both in God and in myself. I want to know that I am loved. I want to feel that I am needed. I want to feel like the contribution that I make to this world matters.

Down With The Sickness

A week has gone by with the sickness... otherwise known as the common cold. I think the worst is behind me at this point. This past Sunday was probably the worst that it has been. I had very little sleep, maybe 4 hours, and woke up coughing up a lung. I had to go to church, as I had committed to opening the church buildings for our building manager, so he could have some extra free time to spend with family that was in town visiting him.

After church, I had to go to Georgia State to work the last women's basketball game. I tried to be selective in the people I interacted with, as I didn't want to get other people sick, but had to talk with a few people.

Needless to say that I stayed up and watched the NBA All Star Game on Sunday, and finally got some really good sleep. I had a good 10 hours or more from Sunday night to Monday morning. I made the decision to just take some medicine and stay inside, bundled up and rest (or sleep) as much as possible on Monday, to ensure my body would be able to build up its immune system and fight off the sickness.

It must have worked, because, between Monday's rest and the 9 hours of sleep that I got last night, I feel a great deal better today.

My throat still feels a little sore from all of the previous coughing, but I haven't coughed at all thus far today. My nose isn't running like crazy. I haven't sneezed at all.

Lord willing, I can kick this cold soon, just like a bad habit.

Hope for Tomorrow

Trying to rest. Trying to sleep. Trying to rid myself of this annoying sinus cold.

Tomorrow (or rather, later this morning), I have a meeting with the Assistant Director of Athletics at Georgia State University to discuss my career path. I would very much like to be rested, healthy and full of energy for that meeting.

I limited my workout today to 90 reps of various crunches to work on my abs. Between yesterday's workout and this cold, I just didn't have limbs that were restful enough to do a full-body workout today.

Here's to hoping that this medicine will kick in and I'll be able to sleep without much problems from my sinuses.

Goodnight.

Refreshing Nightcap

So, for a day that has had me mostly bedridden with bad sinus problems, it turned out pretty good.

After having worked out this morning, I spent the better part of the day sneezing, dealing with a runny nose and failing to sleep off some of the symptoms. Then, this evening, I decided to head out for more fitness.

I had originally planned to swim, but my knees were feeling spry and the basketball court was calling my name. I ventured in. I shot around with a few other guys for a while switching between taking shots with my off hand and my dominant hand. Eventually, Jason showed up after he had concluded his cardio workout. We shot around for a little while longer, then we joined one of the other guys in the gym for a 3-man game of 21. He was dominant, hitting most of his jump shots, but he failed to make any of his free throws. I managed to make enough shots to stay close, but the freebies were my advantage.

Puttin' In Work

Just got home from the gym and grabbing a chicken sandwich for lunch.

Woke up today at 7:00am. Struggled to get up, because I managed very little quality sleep. My sinuses were rather active and kept me from sleeping well. But, I pushed through and made it through.

Started things off with a breakfast of 1-scoop of Muscle Milk© mixed in a bottle of room temp Deer Park© water. Followed that up with 2 eggs. All together, I began my day with 28g of protein.

Arrived at the gym and talked with a trainer. I got started with a warmup of 15 minutes on the Elliptical machine.

A Story I Relate To...

One of my close friends, who happens to be a sociology major, posted a link to an article about a marriage that seemed to be having difficulties. The husband had lost his way in life and had fallen on hard times. The wife was patient and gave him the space he needed to realize he needed to find his happiness in himself... I can't do the story justice, so, you'll need to read it yourself:
http://theweek.com/article/index/99512/the-last-word-he-said-he-was-leaving-she-ignored-him

Suffice it to say that, while I may not be in my 40s, I can relate to the husband.

Where my story draws its parallel is in my loss of happiness and pride. Being a creative type, I was once very confident in my abilities... confident to the point of arrogance, almost. But, after struggling to get through school (8 years for only a two-year degree), and 3 years of persistent applications (with regards to trying to get a job/career in my field), my confidence broke. Since then, I have been on a roller coaster of emotional unsteadiness and incessant battles with depression over the past year. I have been overwhelmed with unhappiness and disdain for where I am in life at my age. This was not my plan for my life. [Emphasis on "my"... since, "my plan" isn't necessarily or may not ever be God's plan. The two are definitely not one and the same.]

Things To Do...

So, as I mentioned, I have a list of things to do for my health. Here is a list of things that I have to do (in no significant/particular order):

Fresh Out The Box

A month and a half into 2012 and I am making a lot of changes. Some by my own design, and some by the hand dealt to me by my circumstances.

I am working on my health. I am seeing a therapist now to work on my mental, emotional and spiritual health. I have a gym membership that I have plans to start taking advantage of. I got a new laptop (because my HP laptop and my Mac desktop both died on me).